Today I was lamely sitting on our kitchen island reading a random magazine and directing Andrew (six years old) how to heat up his food in the microwave, and when he became so excited about his food heating up in less than 30 seconds, it brought back stupid memories of my own naive childhood.
When I was 7 I remember my barely 6 year old brother hit the 1 minute button on the microwave to heat up his hot cocoa, and the brilliant 7 year old that I was told him he was stupid and that was not enough time, because somehow in my genius mind, 1 minute meant 100, and that just seemed too little amount of time for delicious hot cocoa. So I set the microwave to 190 seconds and walked away... the next thing I know my mom came in into my room holding a hot mug with an oven mitt calling me stupid. She then beat the shit out of me and killed me... okay just kidding, but she was pissed and apparently, I was not a genius. THEN, my mother had the nerve to punish me for such an innocent act and took away any microwave use for a week. What the fuck mom!!
Do you know how much that sucked ass for a 7 year old? How the hell was I suppose to survive? Was I suppose to eat ho-hos and live on that?! NO, I was not. I was going to starve to death if I did not heat up my hot dog in the microwave for ten seconds, because YES, ten seconds cooked my hot dog perfect for myself. I was going to starve, and if you haven't noticed. I did. I starved and died. Okay obviously not, but my love of ten seconds hot dogs is NO MORE!!
When I was 7 I remember my barely 6 year old brother hit the 1 minute button on the microwave to heat up his hot cocoa, and the brilliant 7 year old that I was told him he was stupid and that was not enough time, because somehow in my genius mind, 1 minute meant 100, and that just seemed too little amount of time for delicious hot cocoa. So I set the microwave to 190 seconds and walked away... the next thing I know my mom came in into my room holding a hot mug with an oven mitt calling me stupid. She then beat the shit out of me and killed me... okay just kidding, but she was pissed and apparently, I was not a genius. THEN, my mother had the nerve to punish me for such an innocent act and took away any microwave use for a week. What the fuck mom!!
Do you know how much that sucked ass for a 7 year old? How the hell was I suppose to survive? Was I suppose to eat ho-hos and live on that?! NO, I was not. I was going to starve to death if I did not heat up my hot dog in the microwave for ten seconds, because YES, ten seconds cooked my hot dog perfect for myself. I was going to starve, and if you haven't noticed. I did. I starved and died. Okay obviously not, but my love of ten seconds hot dogs is NO MORE!!
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